? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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