She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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