people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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