He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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