can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
