thus making me awesome and them whores
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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