when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
