Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
