I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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