My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
