I'm really into asian looking animals
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
