Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
