addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
