You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
