I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
