we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He felt like a one man threesome
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize