whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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