He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
