that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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