walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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