just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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