hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
should my penis look like a turkey
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize