dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
