Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
