Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
