I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Randomize
