Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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