areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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