Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
