I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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