what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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