Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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