I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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