I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
