Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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