Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
