life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
