im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
