I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
