Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
