Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
