Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
