So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
did i walk over a car last night?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
