I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
