idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
