there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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