Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
