I want to stick my p in your. b.
i permit you to call me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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