That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
