I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
