Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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