Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
