This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
