Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
