What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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