That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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