If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
