I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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