My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
