Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
